Saw a matinee of Hanna today. What a kick-ass movie that is. I loved it — especially Saoirse and Cate’s performances. Cate is a freaking force of nature, and Saoirse makes me feel inadequate as a human being. But in a good way.

I also really liked the girl who played Sophie. No idea who she is (Jessica Barden, according to IMDb), but she was great as the comic relief. And I’d forgotten Olivia Williams was in it, so that was a nice little surprise. Oh, Adelle DeWitt, how I miss you.

Maybe it was just me, but I felt like there were little nods to several other films throughout the movie. I got some major A Clockwork Orange and Kill Bill vibes. So yeah, basically the whole thing rocked my socks. Go see it.

Those were waiting for me when I woke up from my nap.

Operation Portia 6.0 is complete!

And it gets to a climactic scene where Portia is being chased by several wily, disgruntled octogenarians. Understandably perturbed that Portia will not allow them to suck the youth from her perky twenty-something bod, the elderly HBIC announces maybe the greatest line I have ever heard uttered on screen:

“You can forget about gettin’ out of this building, missy. It’s sealed up as tight as your young little butt.”

…

Seriously. I laughed for about a year. That being said, I enjoyed the movie in all its cheesy glory. It was like a low budget version of The Skeleton Key, which is one of my favorite horror films. It was fun seeing Portia in a lead role, too. She needs more of those.

My mom and I took a trip to Ft. Wayne, IN, yesterday for some lite shopping. And by “lite” I mean 10 DVDs, 2 CDs and a book:

But that’s why Half Price Books is awesome sauce. You can get so much stuff for a decent price. Anyway, I’ve decided to read this in honor of Portia, since it contains her namesake:

Check out the character synopsis:

Portia—A wealthy heiress from Belmont. Portia’s beauty is matched only by her intelligence. Bound by a clause in her father’s will that forces her to marry whichever suitor chooses correctly among three caskets, Portia nonetheless longs to marry her true love, Bassanio. Far and away the cleverest of the play’s characters, Portia disguises herself as a young male law clerk in an attempt to save Antonio from Shylock’s knife.

If that’s not apropos, I don’t know what is. Well done, PdR.

I finally watched Women in Film earlier this evening. Portia’s expression sums up my feelings. I just didn’t get it. The actresses were great, but the monologues were so… verbose. Nobody talks like that. I did like the discourse with the camera, though; actors giving emotional performances with no one else off which to play is impressive. Turns out, Portia is really good at flirting with the lens. Her character’s also not playing with a full deck, so that’s fun.

Not my favorite of hers, but still glad I saw it. At this point, though, I think we’ve established that I’d enjoy watching paint dry if Portia was the one holding the brush.

(Oh, and PIGTAILS!)

Went to see Scream 4 today (no spoilers herein), a week later than I would’ve liked. I saw the first two pretty much the minute they were released, so I feel like I let my teenage self down a little for not storming the theater opening day. But I didn’t even make it to the theater for Scream 3 (in fact, I hadn’t even seen it until last Wednesday), so I guess I’m doing all right.

Scream was the first truly scary movie I ever watched. I don’t know why I was so drawn to it — I was a Party of Five and Friends fan, so I was familiar with Neve Campbell and Courteney Cox, but they weren’t actresses I obsessed over enough to put aside my fear of horror movies for. Still, from the moment I caught the sneak peek on Entertainment Tonight, I was determined to go see it. I say determined because my mom wasn’t keen on letting me watch The X-Files, let alone an R-rated slasher flick. Surprisingly, she didn’t put up much fuss about Scream, which I saw with my then best friend. We were both obviously underage, but didn’t get carded. (Lima, OH, always with the #winning.) Ah, that surge of terror and adrenaline that makes you want to bolt from your seat but keeps you paralyzed in it at the same time… thus was my introduction to Mr. Ghost Face.

I attribute a lot to those first two Screams: my love for horror movies in general; my paranoia in empty public restrooms, especially at the theater; that uneasy feeling I get whenever I hear the intro of “Red Right Hand” by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds.

So, as you can see from that oh-so-succinct preface, Ghost Face and I have a long, complicated history. We had our ups (discovering the stuffed bunny I got for Easter was an exact match to Tatum’s in the first movie) and downs (bolt-upright-in-bed-from-a-dead-sleep nightmare after watching the movies repeatedly on video). We broke up for a while (Scream 3). But now it’s back on, and I am happy to say we’re really hitting it off. I didn’t hate the third movie, but I thought this one was far better. It was definitely scarier. Although that shit with ghost!Maureen in 3 did give me the heebie-jeebies. I thought the premise was a lot better in 4, too. Pains me to say I did not figure it out. Not even the littlest bit.

The casting was great also. The cameos were both amusing and horrific. Apparently 1 and 2, for the 30+ times I’ve watched them, taught me nothing about the fleetingness of likeable ladies in the Scream franchise. I was a little surprised with how much I didn’t hate the younger actors. Namely Hayden Panettiere. That girl usually grates my cheese, but she was kind of awesome as Kirby. I’m still weirded out by her tiny, tiny hands, and I can’t figure out if I like the pixie cut on her ginormous dome or not, but… come on, her name was Kirby. You gotta love that.

I doubt I’ll be watching it daily on DVD in order to memorize the entire script, but yeah, I approve of Scream 4. For any haters out there, here’s a nice fresh batch of lemon squares, ass-flavored just for you.

True story. Happened during this scene, nearly gave me a heart attack. It’s one of my favorite Scream 2 memories. Random dude, whoever you are: That? Was AWESOME.

So many things about this picture:

1. Amazeball movie and performances by the leading ladies.

2. If there was ever any doubt Sally Field should play Maura Tierney’s mother on ER (of course there wasn’t), this picture proves it was the right choice. Look at her crying face. It’s the exact same face as Maura’s crying face!

3. I want my own Dr. Wilbur.

4. The people, the people!

leoreturns:

I have been waiting all year to post this.